It’s really ironic, isn’t it? That the more we try to seek Jesus, the farther away He seemingly becomes. That the more we want something, the harder it is to obtain. Doesn’t it always go like that? Sometimes I feel like it does. And if you disagree then you’re probably lying. And if you’re not lying, then please slide into my comments and let me know what in the world your secrets are.
I’ve had a hard time this year hanging on to hope. I’ve had a hard time hoping for the things I wanted to see redeemed or come to fruition in my life. Mostly because I’ve seen a lot of things die. Good things. Things that I just absolutely swore God would come through on. I’m sure you have your own things in your life, like the healing of a sick family member, or that job promotion you needed, or maybe you were hoping to get into your dream school and it just didn’t pan out. But you knew God was going to come through and provide you the things your heart most deeply desired…you just knew.
And then it didn’t happen.
It’s like one of those scenes from a movie where someone is standing on a crowded New York street on a rainy Sunday afternoon and after flagging down taxi after taxi, one finally looks like it’s coming to their rescue and as it gets close, suddenly it doesn’t slow down like they thought it would and instead it drives through a puddle, soaking them with murky street water as they stand there in disbelief, wet and without a ride home.
I’ve been that person. I was that person after devastation ripped through my family and I scrambled to help pick up all the pieces so that it could be fixed and we could move on and pretend nothing ever happened. Turns out the pieces didn’t quite fit together so well anymore. I was that person after I got turned down from a job I really thought I wanted and so I went frantically applying to 142 other camps only to still end up with the same summer plans I’ve had for the past few years. I was that person after I thought I really liked someone and was just met with rejection. We’ve all been there. And it hurts. It hurts to be let down and feel as if God didn’t come through. It absolutely hurts.
But if I am learning anything as I live this life of mine, it is this: God alwaaaays comes through. Every single time He comes through!! Although, usually it is not in the way we hope for or have in mind. It seems to me that it’s always in the weirdest, messiest ways possible. He comes through in the ways that you’re like “oh man, this is gonna hurt”. And as you’re walking through it, the last thing you want to be doing, is walking through it. But then you get to the end, and you’re finally on the other side, and you’re like “oh yeah, this makes sense now”. It’s in the messiest ways that bring the most beauty and somehow the most healing. It’s the messiest ways that get our feet running to the beckoning embrace of the Father. Without the struggles, we would have no need for our sweet Jesus. Without the tears, we would have no reason to smile as we see how God’s plan delicately unfolds.
So, if you’re that person standing on the side of the street, soaked in rainwater and watching as the taxi drives off in disbelief: you’re gonna be okay. I just know it. It may look really messy right now, and you may be very confused about what in the world God could possibly be doing, but trust me on this. You’re gonna be okay and you’re gonna see the other side of things.
And when you do see the other side, it’ll be a beautiful “Ah hah!” moment. You’ll be driving along, listening to some nice music with the windows down as you watch the sun set on a warm, spring day and you’ll smile and know Jesus was right all along. You might roll your eyes and shake your head a bit, too. That day you stood in the rain will just be an ever so distant memory. But you’ll know.
You’ll know because you’ll be laughing and smiling with friends and throwing your hands in the air and you’ll realize now what you never could’ve realized then. You’ll realize that maybe you don’t always have to leave something, or have God come through exactly the way you planned, to be happy. You’ll realize that true happiness and contentment is found in Christ and Christ alone.
And maybe you’ll even decide to start hoping again because it’s never a bad idea to hope for things that bring life and light.
One day that murky rainwater will just be waves crashing against a beautiful coast, eroded down, but definitely not by any means destroyed.