Last night I laid down and began one of my normal conversations with God, you know, the kind of conversation that’s really just a lot of whining on my end and what seems like silence on His end. It’s usually about the same every time. I tell Him what I think I want and what I’ve decided is best for me and try to manipulate it into sounding like something I think He would agree with. And then I sit there and wonder why it seems like I never get a response.
But last night I did get a response. Just not in quite the way I was expecting or even listening for. One of my favorite things about God is that He just plain and simply doesn’t put up with my foolishness. I feel like I have a pretty easy time creating eloquent sentences and beautiful scenarios and twisting them around to align in a way that I convince myself is absolutely God’s plan. I fool myself into thinking I just came up with a plan better than God’s because hello!! It just all makes sense! Like why wouldn’t God want to use this??? But He always sees right past it and puts me back in my place.
So there I was, telling God all about how I really really reaaaaally want something to happen and why it should happen and when it should happen and how it should happen. And all of a sudden I realized something: I’ve been so ridiculously focused on prying open the lock on all the closed doors I’m banging on, that I just completely miss out on all of the open doors that are down that same hallway. Actually, it hasn’t even occurred to me that there even are open doors. My vision has been so focused on the doors I’m banging on to open up that I’ve had blinders on to the rest of the world.
It made me wonder how many people and opportunities and places and adventures I’ve let pass me by. How many stories have I missed? How many laughs did I not get to hear ring through my ears? How many smiles have I not seen dance across people’s’ lips? My guess is probably a lot. And that’s not how I want to live. I want to live a life that runs freely though the open doors and doesn’t stop living just to hope a closed door will open up. I want to dance down the hallways, excited for what is for me and aware of what is not.
Life’s way too short to spend it outside of locked doors. Just look to your right, I’m sure there’s a door just waiting for you to run though. So here I go!!! No more banging on all of the closed doors!! You can catch me on the other side of all the open ones.
Isaiah 43:18-19. Look it up. Thank me later. 😉